As I put you to sleep tonight, I held you tight thinking about the changes that lie ahead. You will be heading to kindergarten tomorrow. I cannot wait to see you grow, change, and learn so many new things.
I have to learn that this is my last first day of kindergarten. The last time I will walk a nervous five-year-old through the halls of a school that will soon become a comfortable place. This is the last time that I will have to worry about if you can figure out the lunch line, or the school bus, or if you will miss me at all. Instead, this will be my first day where the halls are quiet without your laugh and your sweet voice.
You are not uncertain. You are ready, but am I? You will always be my last. You were the last time I got to meet my baby for the first time, the last time I potty-trained a child, the last time I taught my baby to swim, talk, and walk.
You will be the last child I teach to read, to drive, and the last baby I send off to college. I feel like you know it too. You still let me pick you up on occasion. You still enjoy snuggles on the couch on movie nights. You still seek me out to comfort you if you get hurt. Thank you for giving me the extra moments and letting me burn them into my memories.
It is my hope and prayer that I will soak in all of your milestones just as much as your older siblings. Instead of being so excited to be done with one phase, I hope that I will take time to cherish these moments with you. Let’s not rush the future along but walk quietly together from one milestone to the next.
Even though you are not my first child, you will teach me new things. We will have different struggles, and we will learn and grow together. I hope you always know you can turn to me.
As I kissed your head after you fell asleep, I realized that we truly are growing up together.
Sometimes I would love to keep you little, but we both have to grow. So, hold my hand a little longer tomorrow, and hug me tight before you run off to play. You may feel a little bit nervous as you are walking into something new, but just remember so am I. Thank you for being my little buddy, let’s go see what the future holds.